Language Lesson
by ice around the moon
Summary: When Theodore hears a word he shouldn't have, Dave must convince the little munk not to say it. How does this chipmunk father do it? He calls in a little help from the family. One-Shot.


Hey guys!:) I came up with this one-shot idea a few week's ago when I was baby-sitting my neice's and nephew's. Long story short, I stubbed my toe and said a word, and one of my nephew's just _had _to be around. You can probably guess the rest.

**For those of you who don't know Padamay,** she is the niece of Dave Seville and dthe sixteen year old sister of Toby Seville, who was introduced in the Squeakquel. In my stories, Padamay found the chipettes when she was little and they have been with her ever sense. They met the chipmunks when Dave called on Padamay to baby-sit the munks while he was on a business trip.

Enjoy!;)

I do not own Alvin and the Chipmunks

**Language Lesson**

Dave Seville had seen plenty of shocker's in his life time. Mind you, most of them occurred _after _three singing chipmunk's came into his life, but even before then he had sometime's had those moment's that were so shocking his jaw hung open long enough to fly into his mouth.

And this was _definitely _one of those moment's.

It had came out of no where, out of absolute thin air. The dark haired man had been enjoying a lovely breakfast of toaster waffle's with his three furry son's, watching them as they seemed to sway in rythem while they heartily ate their breakfast. Dave grinned, thinking that they alway's seemed to sway or hum when they were extremly happy or content.

The morning couldn't have gotten any better. The Sun was shining it's bright ray's through the window's and spilling a warm hue over the entire house, bird's were singing their joyful melodies outside, the staticy radio was playing a classic oldies tune, and (his personal favorite part) no concert's, press conference's, or public apperence's for another six entire week's. All was well in Dave World.

But then Theodore dropped his waffle onto the kitchen floor.

And the little munk said it.

One of the four letter word's that Dave had tried his very best to hide from him.

Dave's blissful morning shattered before his eye's one half-second after the word left Theodore's mouth. The coffee he had been sipping was suddenly sprayed over the table just as Alvin chocked hard on his waffle and Simon began sputtering in broken sentence's while he dropped his fork onto his plate with a high pitched _clang._

After the two oldest munk and the man all composed theirselves after their outburst of shock they all turned to Theodore who had crooked his head in a puzzled mannor.

"Th-Theodore," Dave coughed, whipping his mouth on the back of his hand. After a fit of rough punch's to the chest to clear his speech up, he asked, "Where did you hear that word?"

Theodore blinked slowly, squinting up at the ceiling as he thought. Dave thought as well, scrolling through a list of suspect's.

Dave slowly turned to Alvin with narrowed eye's, much like a cobra preparing to strike. Alvin was quick to throw his hand's up, palm's forward like an innocent criminal.

_"It wasn't me!" _he mouthed with hurried shake's of his head.

Eye's still in sharp slit's, Dave looked at Simon. The blue hooded munk gave him a flat look, crossing his arm's and lowering his glass's down the bridge of his nose. The look was clear to say, _'Really, Dave? You think I'm that stupid? Does the name 'The Smart One' mean anything to you?' _

Dave shrugged slightly and nodded to himself. Yeah, he supposed 'The Smart One' was off the suspect list.

"Hmm," Dave turned back to Theodore when the youngest munk hummed. He tapped his chin with a chubby finger, tilting his head. "Where _did _I hear that word?" he muttered to himself.

"Did one of the chipette's say it?" Dave guessed.

Alvin nudged Simon and muttered, "Ten buck's say's it was Brittany."

"Chipette's, cihpette's," Theodore mumbled, shaking his head. "No, I don't think so."

Simon smirked, saying quietly, "I do believe you are now in debt to me, Alvin." The hazel eyed munk studdered for a moment. "Well, we didn't shake on it," he hissed in a whisper. "So shut up, it doesn't count."

"Toby?" Dave suggested.

"Mmm," Theodore shook his head once more. "No, but you're getting closer."

Dave blinked. Closer? Well, that could only mean...

_"Padamay?"_

Simon and Alvin's bet-bickering came to a dead stop when Theodore perked up and said, "Yeah, that's who said it! Padamay!"

Silence rolled through the kitchen as the second's ticked on. _Padamay? _Dave thought in disbelief. His neice had never said anything to his son's that she wouldn't have wanted him to hear. Sure, Padamay sometime's said the most randomest, craziest statement's he had ever heard ("Did you know that the male seahorse actually has the babies out of his bellybutton? Alfred Hitchcock didn't even have a bellybutton." "I heard that babies don't have knee cap's when they're born. Is that why they can't walk right away?"), but the teen had alway's be just as careful about her language as Dave was.

Simon finally spoke. "When did she say it, Theodore?"

"Oh, about a week ago," Theodore told him. "I think it was the night you and Claire went out, Dave."

Alvin's brow's scrunched together as he turned to Simon. "I didn't hear her say it."

Simon's brow creased just as his brother's had. "I didn't either. I don't recall her saying-" he quickly changed his word's at Dave's warning. "Saying...anything _unappropriate." _Simon rephrased.

"Oh, you two were asleep," Theodore said. "See, here's what happened..."

_Theodore squeaked loudly when a creak shuttered through the wall's of the chipmunk home. He clutched his blanket's tigher and wounded them around his little round body as his evergreen gaze darted this way and that, jumping at the darkness and the shadow's. _

_The green hodded chipmunk looked over at his brother's. They didn't seem to hear any of the scary noise's. _

_Simon was currently snuggled up neatly as he slepy soundlessly, breathing in even breath's. _

_Alvin, on the other hand..._

_Theodore wondered how in the world someone could get their cover's so tangled up. Not to mention Alvin himself. The gold eyed munk snored loudly without any modesty, a pillow over his head as his arm's twisted around his head, one leg twirled tightly around his blanket's while the other hung clear off the bed, torso twisted like he had just played a bad game of Twister._

_Theodore blinked many time's when Alvin began mumbling in a slurry tone. The little munk widened his eye's when Alvin suddenly gave an evil laugh of, "Muahahahaha!" then began to snore loudly once more. _

_The little munk blinked as the noise's ceased to exist. He laughed quietly, embarrassed, slowly laying down once more-_

Creeeeak!

_Jade eye's flew open while Theodore's heart picked up the pace and fear froze him. He wouldn't _ever _get to sleep with all these creepy sound's in here._

_Theodore quickly scrolled through his bedroom option's. Well, Dave was out with Claire for the night, so the young munk probably wouldn't feel any safer in Dave's empty room. Plus, he'd probably get a scolding for staying up so late waiting for his dad, anyway's._

_Maybe Padamay was still awake. After all, she was known in her home for getting in bed when everyone was getting out of it. _

_Theodore swallowed hard, slowly lowering his leg down onto the floor. Right when his clawed toe hit the floor, he took off with a smoke trail speeding behind him. Whenever he was scared like this he could easily run as fsat as Alvin, and sometime's Simon._

_The chipmunk dashed as fast as he could through the house, quickly coming to a stop in the living room. He noticed that the TV was on and muted, but Padamay wasn't seen taking her usual residence on the couch. _

_Again, Theodore swallowed nervously. "P-P-Pada-Padamay?" he whispered, darting his gaze this way and that. _

_"Where is that freaking light switch?" he heard a voice grumble from the kitchen. Theodore reconized the voice as Padamay, and quickly trotted toward's the kitchen to give her some assistence._

WHAM!

_For about the millionth time that night, Theodore gave a high shrill and a jump that had him almost shooting through the ceiling. _

_His squeak's, however, were nothing compared to Padamay's. He could see the girl's slim, long silhouette hopping up and down in the dark as she clutched one of her feet while she bounced on the other leg._

_Theodore's ear's twitched and flexed as he tried to understand what the teen was repeating over and over. Shh... Shh... Shoot? No, not shoot..._

_Padamay began saying the word slower and louder in a groan as she rubbed her foot that she had banged against the table leg._

_Hmm. Theodore had never heart that word before. It sounded kind of neat._

_He would have to try using it sometime._

"And that's what happened." Theodore concluded with an innocent grin.

No one really knew what to say for a few minuet's. They all just sat there stupidly until Alvin turned to Simon and blurted out, "Do I really talk in my sleep?"

Sapphire eye's rolled behind thick lenses as Simom looked over at Dave. "But why didn't Padamay tell me about this?" Dave thought aloud.

"Well, ah," Theodore began sheepishly. "I sort of...ran back to my bed because you and Claire got home then, and I thought I would get in trouble."

The two oldest munk's and Dave shared worried glance's. _How am I going to explain _this one _to him? _Dave thought. Thankfully, Padamay had dodged the 'where to babies come from' bullet with the stork lie. But it looked like there weren't any stork's around for this one...

A light bulb went off in Dave head then.

It was true, no stork's or lie's could get him around this one, not that he wanted to lie to little Theo. But perhap's another guardian of a few chipmunk's could help him...

**888**

"I cannot _believe_ you have such a potty mouth."

"I didn't know he was in there! And I stubbed my toe, that's plenty of an excuse!"

"Ha! _Riiiight."_

Padamay rolled her eye's and clicked her tongue at her brother. "Don't act like you've never said it before, Saint Tobster," she said, jumping onto a bench and walking along it while Toby continued on the sidewalk.

"Look, I know I shouldn't have said it," Padamay admitted, shivering in the sharp winter breeze, and thrusting her fist's into her Batman hoodie. She hopped down from the bench and continued. "After all, that's why Mom is making us walk over to the chipmunk rez in fourty degree weather, right? So we can explain to Theodore that it's a word he should't be saying. Or any other four letter word on the list of bad word's."

Toby snorted, watching the chipette's walk ahead of them, wearing their cute little fluffy coat's and yarn woven hat's, as they gazed up in wonder at the flurries of snow that were beginning to fall onto the sidewalk, then disolve in a matter of second's.

"I can see why she's making _you _do this," Toby replied as his teeth began to chatter. "But why did I have to come? I had a date tonight!"

"Tobe, going to the movie's with Mom doesn't count."

"I wasn't talking about Ma, stupid," Toby said in a high, fake voice. "I was talking about Julie."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Padamay said in the same fake, shrilly voice. "You mean Julie was going to drive you and Mom to the G rated movie and then take you to McDonald's and get Boy and Girl toy's? How sweet!"

Toby let lose a loud growl of rage and charged at his wildly laughing sister. All three chipette's stopped their playing in the tiny bit's of snow when two figure's jumped over them, Padamay laughing like a hiena while Toby raced at her like a hungry lion.

Jeanette rolled her colbot eye's, whipping some snow from her fur. "And I thought Alvin and Brittany fought like kid's," she muttered to herself.

"What was that, Jeanette?" Brittany snapped.

"Nothing!"

**888**

Padamay and Toby shifted nervously under Theodore's confused stare across the living room. The young munk had been seated on the large six seater couch all by himself while the other two Seville's figited awkwardly in front of him in two fold up chair's.

Padamay crossed her checkboard skinny jean'd leg's, twisting her finger's around. Toby looked over at the picture of fruit on the wall, looking fasinated and completly oblivious.

Theodore blinked.

Alvin groaned quietly, slapping his forehead from his hiding place behind the curtain's of a living room window. He turned to Brittany. "We're never going to get anywhere with this," he told her quietly.

"Oh, hush," Brittany said, smacking him lightly. "It's not like you, or anyone else, could do any better with it!"

Alvin thought about that, then shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, guess you're right...for once."

_SMACK!_

Padamay thought for a moment, pursing her lip's, then perked up and looked up at the chipmunk. "Theodore," she said. "do you remember a few month's ago, when you all were over at my house and Toby was playing that really freaky video game? _F.E.A.R?"_

Theodore cringed. "You mean the one with that scary little girl in the red dress who kill's everyone?" The little munk shuttered. "The one Toby said looked like you when you were little?"

"Yeah," Padamay scowled. "That one. Anyway's do you remember when she popped out and like, tried to kill Toby's guy? Well okay, do you remember one of the _million's _of time's she tried to kill him?"

Theodore nodded slowly.

"You 'member that word he screamed when she popped out?"

Wide eye's grew bigger in realization. "The same word that you said when you stubbed your toe?"

"That's the one," Padamay said. "See, sometime's people say word's like that when they're mad, scared, or in my case, pain." Padamay smirked. "For people like The Tobster, they say that when they see Padamay look-alike's."

Theodore giggled at Toby's glare toward's Padamay.

"Point is," the teen continued. "Word's like that aren't good. They don't make us feel any better, they don't make pain go away, they don't make us any tougher, and they don't make us any happier. You have to remember that, okay? Whether you stub your toe or if you're scared of little kid's."

Theodore nodded. "Okay, Pad. I promise I won't say that word never, ever again. I don't like bad word's anyway. They're nasty."

"Exac-a-tacily," Padamay said with a nod as she stood. "Let's go chicka's! Chipette concert tomorrow night!" she called as she and her brother walked toward's the door.

"So, you made me come with you so you could use me as an example, huh?" Toby said with a flat expression. "That's nice."

Padamay shrugged. "It was either your story, or last year when Alvin spilled his Starbucks on Brittany and she called him every name in the book."

Toby winced. "Glad I wasn't around for that one."

"You should be," Padamay laughed.

They met Dave at the door, who was smiling with crossed arm's. "Thank's a million, Pad," he said, clamping her on the shoulder. "I wasn't sure how I was going to deal with that one."

"Don't worry 'bout it," Padamay replied as the chipette's scampered toward's her. Padamay flipped her hood on and said, "After all, it _was _my punishment."

"Huh?"

"Ma told her that if she could convince Theodore not to say the S word anymore, she would get off with a warning." Toby explained.

"Ah," Dave said. "Well, I'll let you know if you stay in the clear. Have a good concert, girls!"

"Thank you, Dave," the chipette's replied, walking out the door on all four's.

After a few minuet's of walking through a slik sheet of snow, Toby sighed, "Well, I hate to admit it, but you were pretty good with Theodore, squirt."

Padamay snorted. _"Thanks," _she said. The teen glanced back at the chipette's, who had started a small snowball fight with the thickening snow.

_I just hope I won't have to do the same thing for Eleanor, _she thought.

As if on cue, Eleanor was hit in the face with a ball of snow by Brittany. At first, Padamay thought Eleanor's sound's were shiver's or shutter's. Then she did a double take.

Ocean blue eye's widening, Padamay slowly turned around, her jaw dropped just as low as the other's.

Swallowing, Padamay said, "Eleanor...what did you just say?"

Blinking slowly, Eleanor told her, "I'm not sure. I heard Toby say it when he was playing that video game you're in."

Vision turning red, body shaking with furry, Padamay turned to her brother. Toby grinned innocently and laughed nervously.

"So," Toby laughed, rubbing the back of his head. "Guess I won't be going to McDonalds with Ma anytime soon, huh?"

Padamay then pulled a Dave Seville.

**"TOOOOOBY!"**

**888**

Couldn't resist:) Hope you enjoyed. Please drop me a line, even if you didn't like it. Constructive criticism is very appreciated:)


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